Words Got Rhythm

Prince Charming

2011-05-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

I remember spending days dreaming of who you'd be

Wishing on stars

Writing lists

Praying you were safe

And happy

I thought I'd found you multiple times

But still something was missing

I searched and searched,

and then I stopped.

I still dreamed that one day you'd come

I'd be busy with a life of my own

But you'd find a way to get through

"A real man makes room for himself"

That's what I told them.

And you did.

You found a mess

But, you stayed anyway.

You held me as I cried at night

Overwhelmed with life's cruelties

You sang to me to make me smile

When life had lost it's melody

With you,

I feel more myself than ever before

I feel safe and treasured.

Comfortable enough to be me.

Finally.

With you...

I'm complete.

Is This Real Life?

2010-09-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

Creativity

One thing I lack on days like these

When head and heart aches

And body longs for bed time

Sleep

I've learned

Is the great and abominable tease.

You're not so young anymore

I remind my 21 year old self

As bones creak and muscles throb

Like those of a woman 4 times my age.

Welcome to the South Central.

You just got served.

My future

2010-07-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

Love's a little more complex

When a mirror is your ex

And you wonder how it all went wrong.

Endless searching for a clone

Always ending up alone

With your cats and silly love songs...

The Sound of Settling

2010-06-06T02:28:00.000-07:00

There are days when I think

It couldn't get better than this

Days when you and perfection

Look awfully similar

And I forget all the little things

About you that make me miserable

Like the way you expect me to be open,

While hiding the truth

Tell me to be more tolerant,

While verbally assaulting a stranger.

Never think ahead.

Flirt with disaster.

Manipulate.

Lie.

On paper, you check every box

A fact I use to help me forget

What a terrifying mess you are.

Untitled

2010-05-13T12:55:00.000-07:00

I would cry,

But that would only make this worse.

With guys like you,

Tears do nothing but empower.

Relishing the fact that you made

A grown woman cower

Reacquainting myself with inadequacies

I worked so hard to forget.

Changing my opinion to match yours

Saying words I'd come to regret

You say I'm too much like this

And not enough like that

When you say you love me

It stings like an emotional baseball bat

The nail that sticks out gets hammered

Baby, I'm getting screwed

And not in the good way

Yeah, I know, I'm "too crude"...

You broke down walls

Then trampled my heart

You got what you came for

Don't you feel smart?

Communication Skills

2010-04-25T00:30:00.000-07:00

Can we stop communicating?

I'll stop respecting your needs and wants

While you pretend that I read minds?

It works for the rest of the world,

Why not us?

Can we stop apologizing?

I'll stop taking responsibility for my actions

While you plan my next guilt trip?

It works for the rest of the world,

Why not us?

Can we stop vocalizing EVERY emotion?

I'll stop telling you my weaknesses

While you continue to analyze and assume?

It works for the rest of the world,

Why not us?

Sometimes I want to stay mad.

Sometimes I want to keep secrets.

Good communication hurts my brain.

The Treasure in Me

2010-03-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

There's a hole
Deep down, inside of me
With things buried, so none will see
Until you brought your excavation team.

You,
my emotional Indiana
With your whipping wit and musty sense of style.
Boldly going where no man has gone before...
And for good reason.

Inside of me, you found
the curious, bizarre, and strange
the depressed and the angry
And you took it all.

You listened
You laughed
You cried
Uncovering treasures amid ashes
Decoding my soul's hieroglyphics
Reminding me, I have a place.

To you,
My worth is great.
With you,
My joy is full.
And because of you,
I am indebted forever.

This is not a poem.

2010-02-19T12:40:00.000-08:00

This is a request:

Just shut up and love me already.
Sheesh!

Bipolar Heart

2009-12-23T13:23:00.001-08:00

"Are you interested in anyone?"
Well, I thought I was.

How do you explain
A bipolar heart?
Today,
I love you.
Tomorrow,
I love you not?

This can't be healthy.
This isn't okay.
My pendulum of a heart out on display

I wouldn't blame you for running
Look, I'm even holding the door.

Real Sexy

2009-12-09T00:14:00.000-08:00

Let's talk about sexy...
Do you know what the means?

Is it skirts hiked up so high everyone can see
the little lacy parts of your chonies?
Or are they necklines, so low there ain't no shock
when the bra gets exposed or a nipple pops?

Wardrobe malfunctions; that's sexy too, right?
Who wants clothes that stay on all night?
The faster they fall, the sexier you feel...
Is that what you consider "being real"?

Forgive me for my ignorance
But I thought sexy was about attitude
The strut, the look, the smile.
And last time I checked legs, eyes, and mouths
Weren't only available in sizes 0-6.

So,
From one sexy diva to another,
Let me tell you somethin'...

I feel sexy when...
I'm dancin' in my room
Shakin' it in my fruit of the loom
Yes, I'm groovin, clothes on the floor
Not caring who walks through that door.

I feel sexy when...
We're talkin' bout the news
Just trying to get a balanced view
See, I know the power oral stimulation
And it starts with intelligent conversation.

I feel sexy when...
Wandering down aisles of books
Gettin' my scholar on, from the looks
I'm finding love in all the right pages
Multiple degrees earnin' higher wages

You see girls,
It's a matter of fact,
Sexy is exactly where you're at
Be Silly
Be Smart
Be Successful
BE YOU

REAL is SEXY
It's true.

Left Lonely

2009-11-09T12:19:00.000-08:00

Words you'll never hear me say
Written down, here they lay

When you asked, I gave you a line.
Things were never "totally fine".

No beginning, only an end
I don't want to be your friend.

To the Girl Who Has Everything...

2009-10-13T01:33:00.000-07:00

Life hasn't handed me lemons;
My lemonade cup runneth o'er
And when it rains,
Drops fall in candy form.

I guess you could say I feel a bit spoiled
I guess you could say I live a blessed life
I guess you could say I didn't deserve this
Believe me, I'd agree with you,
Most of the time...

Metaphysicians say what I do is an art
Seeing the best, thus receiving the best
Affirming my future before it happens
As if I have some control over the matter

What I do is called Hope & Faith
Charitable acts equaling affirmations
Seeing can create mere belief
But it is in giving that we receive.

"Where much is given, much is required"
And Heaven knows, my debt is great.

Heartsick Lover's Lamaze

2009-10-08T10:44:00.001-07:00

When a control freak falls in love
There's not much more to it than just that,
Falling.

Free falling
Miles a minute
Praying to God
That your feet will hit the floor
Before your heart does.

Reality is Love's worst enemy
When the timing's off.

My love song's less lyrics
And more rhythmic breathing
A heartsick lover's lamaze, really.

Been holding my breath for so long
It's hard to let go.

But sometimes,
When I get home from work
And the world feels like it's going to explode
I imagine you're that person

I pick up the phone and
Curl up in the comforting warmth
of your words on the other line.

And sometimes,
When I'm turning blue from lack of oxygen,
Waiting to finally exhale.
I imagine you're that person

I let you in again,
Lulling myself into a false sense of security
That what I feel right now is forever

It's safe to breathe.

And yet,
I hold on to that last bit of air
Ignoring the constant pounding in my chest
'Cause I learn from my mistakes
And this next time...

I ain't fallin' till you catch me.

This Is For The Mixed Kids

2009-06-12T02:13:00.000-07:00

Say hello to the American Dream
The product of huddled masses yearning to be free
How a Tucson cowboy met a local girl from Waikiki
Fell in love and made me

Never looked like Mommy
Euro blood winning the genetic lottery
But somewhere, down in the depths of me,
A pretty wahine with long brown hair sings
Ka mele of my kupuna—ancient melodies

And when I hit the dance floor

My hips do things Shakira only dreams

Two worlds combine in my face
Don’t try to talk to me about race
Nationalities, ethnicities, cultural identities
Can I get an alternative to “other” as a category, please?

Yeah, this is for the mixed kids
“Cracker-Japs”, “Koreanmixed”, “Hapas” unite
Against racism and genocide, we’re winning the fight
And in the beds of lovers like our parents
World peace starts tonight

Smoke

2009-03-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

You see, when I was younger
I had this problem called
Foot-in-mouth disease
Because mama never taught me
To think before I speak

No, she taught me to be
Direct and to the point
Leave the mind-reading to
The Miss Cleos of the world
She wasn't raisin' no psychic superhero.

So I stopped thinking
Instead, living life each day
By the dictates of my own inner voice
Who never stops philosophizing and categorizing
Identifying what I wanted and going after it.

Mama taught me that
Misrepresentation was the thing to avoid
Censorship leading to undefined feelings
To waking up one morning and realizing
You have no feelings at all.

So share while you can
Elaborate on the intricacies of your own mind
Give a voice to the voiceless
And when the world tells you to "sit down and shut up"
Stand up and yell.

And I yelled.
I screamed. I shouted. I cried.
On rooftops, on oceanside cliffs, on mountains
Letting my voice circumvent the globe
I knew who I was.

A personal oracle
Determining my own destiny
Manifesting my divine right
To life, liberty and the pursuit
Of whatever made me happy

Now,

I look back on the days when
Life made that much sense
When a word was just a word
Lacking consequence
Where a person could just be.

I'm standing tall
But stopped yelling truth
For fear someone might hear.
I'm not here for debate;
Just want to be.

All smoke, no fire.

The Art of Insecure Overthinking

2009-02-24T17:09:00.000-08:00

"5 Signs He's Into You"

Screams the cover of a Cosmo magazine.
And I,
Turn pages in eager haste
Hoping to decode whatever message
You've been sending me

You see, I used to play this game a lot
Playing hard to get wasn't hard at all until I was caught.
Caught up in a tangled web of emotions I'd never felt before.
And then,
He cut the threads.

Devastated.
Lost my head.
Lost my heart.
Lost my groove.
And I don't think Stella plans on sharing any time soon.

So, I have to make do on my own
Returning to lists and personality tests of adolescence
Because I don't know myself well enough anymore.
And I definitely don't understand you.

Thus, in my desperation for self realization,
I turn to Cosmo:

#1 He Contacts You For No Reason
Well honey, you do that every day:
Ask me how I am, about my life.
Remembering the little things.
But maybe you're just bored
And these chats? Escapist entertainment.

#2 He gets personal
Cosmo says I make you feel at ease
Bonds forming in places they shouldn't be
But then again, maybe it's not bonding.
Maybe you're just a man.
Who talks about himself because he can.

#3 He Introduces You to His Friends
Supposedly you want to share
More of your life with me
And need a second opinion
On where this is going
Or, maybe you just think I have no friends.

#4 He Drops Everything To Help You
Ah, so you’re the new Knight In Shining Adidas?
And I play damsel in distress
Just to see if you’ll run when I call
And you do, which confuses me even more
Superhero complex. Anyone? Anyone?

#5 He Takes an Interest in Your Interests
Funny seeing you here. And here.
And there. Oh, EVERYWHERE.
Or maybe, I’m subconsciously following you
Liking things you like too
Even if I liked them before you?

Shoot.
Another list of what should be’s that aren’t.
Guess, I should turn to that personality test on
“What Kind of Sexy” I am again…

It would appear the Feminine Media has
Ruined my life.
Leaving me with the ridiculous notion
That men are actually readable.

And after years of studying girly magazines,
I’ve graduated with a PhD in
The Art of Insecure Overthinking